When a friend of mine contacted me for some counseling as to how to communicate with her daughter who has just finished her schools and is set to explore her world of college life, I felt like telling her that it is very tough one as it is very individual to every person. I was actually wondering if anyone has any advice on how to deal emotionally with the young children going away to children. There are various aspects to this question-their course curriculum, choice of college, change in perception and behaviour pattern. All this has a direct link with their emotional needs.
However, the educationist and counselor within me prompted to put myself in their shoes as if it was my children leaving to go to college. As a parent as long as you have done as much as you can to instill values into them, which is all you can do. I understand it may initially be difficult, but start thinking about them as independent individuals. As parents your primary role is to play the role of a guide in chanelising positive communication about the issues that they find it hard to answer. It is like whether it is the lure of better college or the course of choice that matters in the long run. May be we all do it in our own way, but the problem is that we often start playing the role of a regulator than actually that of a friend, philosopher and guide.
This is where we often end up blocking the channels of communication and adding to the emotional vacuum that these young adults often feel. We have to understand that there will be a change in perception and behaviour pattern of these children. Unless and until we are open to let them experiment a bit with their lives, they will not grow as responsible young adults. I think it is high time we educationists come forward and take a challenge to find ways and means for proper counseling of the parents as well. After all, our role is to shape the destinies of our children without being obtrusive or a regulator. Any suggestion or feedback will be highly appreciated.
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